A Winter’s Tale, 27 January in the Year of 2020

Outside the wind roars
Trees tighten their grip for fear
How do birds shelter
I hear the notes of a dove
What are you doing
A peace drifts down from above
Butterfly flap flap its wings
 Blow blow the winds cry
 Nature cocks an ear She speaks

Over the last couple of months every blog I have begun feels stale either before or by the time I think I have concluded it. I am learning to be a better observer – the word ‘ego’ comes to mind – and I have considered what this might mean for me and for us. A particular statement has been travelling in rings around my mind for a few years now and I have not been clear on what to do with it. We need to forget, or rather, relinquish everything we believe we know. It certainly fits when I listen to what is going on in this New World we are all experiencing. I hear what is going on around me, particularly from official sources, and it all sounds deeply off the mark and this is amplified by the number of lies told us, then qualified when highlighted as being for the good of us all. I watch how the majority hang onto every word coming out of the mainstream media and I am amazed at how separate I feel from them. Of course I do not let myself off the hook, as I bluster back and forth bumping into the boundaries of my own brain fog, desperately seeking that tool of sense-making. Fortunately, or unfortunately (whichever way things ultimately turn out), I do find what feels like a logic that is as clear as a bell to me. I am not alone with finding myself on the opposite side of a mountain to most people, but also aware that still there are many variations on the narrative around me. It seems to me that there is more concordance on the other side of this insurmountable mountain. Who is on the windward side and who in the leas?

This is also my Swan Song with regard to the question of whether to vaccinate or not. The reason being that I have finally got a handle on the Number One tool in my ‘toolbox’, or valise, that I arrived into my mother’s arms with – my desire to fix what feels wrong. I finally recognised what causes it to spring into action with the help of my husband a few years back. I correct, or attempt to fix, when it feels to me that something is wrong. It is not borne of a desire to control, this was a relief to realise as I am sure you can imagine why, but from a desire for things to be right, whether it is recalling a memory or finding someone in the dark when they ‘should be’ in the light.  

I have been in combat with this tool most particularly over the last four years, when I finally recognised its influence on how I operate when needs must, and finally I have come to the understanding that ‘fixing’ isn’t always the best way forward. Or rather, there are various ways of fixing and perhaps mine tends to be more of a hit or miss version, even though it springs from the best of intentions. I have resisted for the longest time ever to give it up but now I understand that desperation or irritation are not the best guides when it comes to being a positive and helpful guide through the darkness, and it truly doesn’t matter whether someone remembers incorrectly. A few mornings back, and following some deep contemplation having risen from the wrong side of my bed, I finally understood. I can give this tool back at will. It has now been returned to Source. A few moments later I chortled, some may say cackled is more accurate, as an image raced through my floaty ‘haggy’ mind…I had been holding the tool at the wrong end all along. Only took me bloody sixty-seven years of frustration at an unimpressive success rate to realise that big one, but hey ho, better late than never. 

And, as I said, a last word on the subject of whether to vaccinate or not. For me personally, I will never do so. I haven’t had one since my polio vaccination as a child, and I am as healthy as I need to be at this stage in my life. There have been a million images on all news outlets and social media platforms of millions of little bottles, all labelled clearly Covid-19, going round and round as they spin off the end of the ever present production lines that are a feature of modern life. People look upon them as the world’s Little Saviour – there’s an irony in there somewhere. We are putting a lot of score on hoping that these little bottles will keep us going into a long and prosperous never ending journey into the future, while much else drifts in the direction of extinction. I can’t help thinking about the Law of Diminishing Returns, a powerful rule that we know is pretty reliable. Nothing stands still except in the spaces in-between. We either grow or we will diminish. It seems to me that the last hundred years was learning more and more about sexual relations and their impact on gender, and now we know that everything is fluid. I have a suspicion that the next hundred years of a turning will probably be an obsession with medicine and relationships as we attempt to prevent what is the unthinkable – our own extinction. A few hundred years ago circumstances led us down a path of believing that we were in a war with Nature for our survival, and ended up at a point where now we survive on the planet for a while and would much prefer to never leave for a lifetime of nothingness. Perhaps this time really does have a lot to do with the lifting of the veil. Perhaps it is time to scrutinise what history, the prophets and the philosophers of old can teach us. Perhaps then we shall be able to join up the dots of our yet to be trodden path – a picture that will show us a way to a better future. Nature is the greatest and most finely tuned instrument that we have, better than any computer Man could ever build. And with the knowledge of knowing how successful we have been in ‘killing God’, the great many aren’t giving this enough thought, or surely they would choose Nature over the current nurture on offer.

My favourite shape shifter of the year, Dr Zach Bush: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUiGgRHES4k&t=764s

Top of the mystical hierarchy from the Nineteenth Century: https://www.age-of-the-sage.org/philosophy/friedrich_nietzsche_quotes.html

Author: jenniesredbook

Someone who is trying to find the stepping stones that will make a difference to her in this lifetime.

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