“You are an explorer, and you represent our species, and the greatest good you can do is to bring back a new idea, because our world is endangered by the absence of good ideas. Our world is in crisis because of the absence of consciousness.”
Terrence McKenna
I have a number of unfinished blogs that I started over the past few weeks, but I find my thoughts are changing so rapidly these days that by the time I get back to them, they no longer are worthy of pursuing – a little hollow like the daily news. Perhaps I was kidding myself in the first place that they were ever of any value, or perhaps Covid truly has upped the ante on our discerning capabilities. I may do more short pieces that I can comfortably complete in a single sitting. One day I may even look back over all my blogs and be a little disappointed at my naïve musings, or pleasantly surprised that there be a few crumbs of knowledge trying to emerge from that inner temple we all seem to do so well at avoiding.
I am trying to find out how to walk my path and what is expected of me this time round. Sahdguru believes it is verging on arrogance to think that I have a mission in life, when love in a state of being should really be what I am aiming for. Another problem with all this soul searching is how much of what I conclude are my own thoughts is down to the conniving ego that is a master at subverting us away from knowing our soul’s desires? Is there anything of my thoughts that I can genuinely consider authentic cognition? Nevertheless, I continue to have a sense that to love and be in the moment is not enough. The world needs to see some payback for this life that has taken more than its fair share out of it. I have, over recent years, wormed my way deep into the love story, and I definitely understand better what it actually feels like to love, be it a fellow human being, humankind or a thing, even my ex car, the Toyota Hilux that lives on in Ibiza but with a new pair of hands on its love handle. I appreciate that true love is a power that can change us all into better human beings, but can that really be enough? When I look at those who have dedicated themselves to the needs of others, be it to ill-treated donkeys or the poor and starving of the world, I wonder where my love for them helps anyone or anything at all. I can only come up with a sense that I fall dreadfully short of many of my heroes, or my soul still has a long way to travel before reaching into the light fantastic.
These days I prefer to write my thoughts and testimonies—still a new outlet for me—and a talent I am working on improving. And while, over the years, I have been able to provide comfort or encouragement to a few souls in need – where is my personal sacrifice? The Dharma says, first you must get to know yourself on the inside, then discover what your unique talent is, and finally, you must enter into service to society. I suspect that this can be understood on many levels, the first being the most obvious and to be taken at its simplest level. I like to comfort myself that that is what I am doing in my own peculiar manner. I am not the most sociable of people, I am a touch resistant to rules and regulations, and I prefer to operate as a free agent within my own time capsules. But I suspect that the more evolved one’s soul becomes, the stronger and greater is the requirement for personal sacrifices. Am I a simple soul still reaching for greater heights, doing my level best, or am I a lazy older soul who is falling short of my own hopes? Well, I suppose if I can even pose that question, I probably know the answer to it already! It may well be an eternity yet before I get to step up onto the first rung of Jacob’s Ladder. The choice is ours from lifetime to lifetime.
jennie's red book 